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Thursday, October 10, 2013

Cherishing the little moments

As I watch my almost ONE year old growing up way to fast right before my eyes, I cant help but want to cherish the little moments with her while she's still a baby.  I want to cherish the little moments with all my girls equally but I find myself being a little selfish and cherishing the moments with Kendall a little more.  Is that wrong of me?  I don't know... I think I'm doing it because she's my last baby and I will never get to cherish those big milestones again.

I wont get to snuggle with a squishy newborn again, I wont get to experience all of the first's and it makes me sad.  As the older girls grew up I may have wanted Kaylee to experience her first's fast and I may have been so excited for her to do them that I pushed them a little soon.  With Keira since I thought she was our last, I treasured those firsts with her a little more and didn't push them like I did with Kaylee and now with Kendall, I'm NOT pushing at all.  I'm letting her do them on her own time and loving every first.


I know the firsts aren't gone cause as my girls grow they will still be experiencing lots of firsts.  Some of which I'm not even ready to think about yet! (DATING, DRIVING, MAKEUP or PERIODS).  I am excited for the as you grow firsts (RIDING A BIKE WITH NO TRAINING WHEELS, SLEEPOVERS & MOMMY/DAUGHTER DATES).

As my girls grow I am afraid of what kind of kids they will be.  Will all 3 of them be good kids, who listen and obey their parents?  Will I raise them the right way to not drink and drive or do drugs?  Because they talk back now, is this a sign of what it will be like when they are teenagers?  I sure hope not.  I worry about what my girls will think of me as a parent.  I worry that they'll think I'm mean & that they wont like me.  I know I may be thinking a little to much into this but that's what I do.  I think to much into things and I hate that I do that but I cant help it. 

I just want to have a great relationship with all my girls.  I want them to know that they can always talk to me about anything (I hope to have a relationship with them like I did with my mom). The unknown about raising kids is hard.  I wish I could look into the future and make sure that my kids will always be on the track and that we will have a great relationship. 

So here's to many years of hoping that I get this parenting thing right....

3 comments:

  1. I think that if we all come out of the teen years alive to tell about it, then it was a success! :-)

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  2. I can relate so much to this post. I thought W was going to be our last, so I hung on to some of her moments much longer! {Heck! I nursed her for TWO years because I didn't want to be done forever, haha!} And, with R, since she was our first, I rushed to get her to the next milestone. With the baby, I am just letting him get there when he gets there. He loves his bottle still and refuses to drink out of a cup. Joe is giving me a hard time about it, but I am just like, whatever, he will come around sometime - he isn't going to drink out of one forever. :)

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  3. What an incredible picture of your girlies! So precious!!!

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